Grammatical

I have a sentence I've been struggling with. It's the last sentence in this paragraph.

The chicken's a little dry, but the stuffing is awesome, with lots of MSG and salt, and gravy from a mix to boot. It's pretty hard to screw up peas with butter, so they're good too. And if the potatoes are not quite up to Neptune Grand standards, then again the Neptune Grand chef never made love to me, so I declare guilelessly that these potatoes are the best I've ever had.

I'm trying to imply that the narrator is trying hard to be forgiving and non-critical (which is hard for her) and that the boyfriend who cooked the meal is also really trying hard as far as the relationship, which she recognizes. So the garlic mashed potatoes (her favorite) become the best ever, because of the situation.

Plus, who doesn't love garlic mashed potatoes???

Any suggestions to improve that sentence, or the paragraph?